Arnold the Aardvark

So gather round children and let me recount
The story of an aardvark who had curiosity in no small amount
His name was Arnold, and legends abound
In fact he's the most famous aardvark around
And this is the story of what he found

Arnold the Aardvark woke up with a start
By a dog who was barking alone in the dark
Unable to sleep he got out of his bed
Put on his shoes, ate a half slice of bread
Went outside to check if the dog had been fed

Davy the dog was in no mood to chat
I am ferocious en garde! Stand back!
I've come here to warn you with a message practical
That I am the fiercest of all fierce animals!

Yikes said Arnold I didn't know that!
So with you around I need not fear that cat
That's lurking behind you planning attack
... He looks like he's after a bit of your flank!

And right at that moment emerged a great cat
Who's name was Kenny (or something like that)
He arched up his back and he showed off his claws
And said "I am the fiercest animal of all!"

"Mercy!" cried Davy who fled down the road
For the cat was a mighty beast to behold
Arnold said "Oh dear cat you're as great as can be"
"I believe you're as fierce as a being could be
With that in mind I'm sure you have no fear of the flea
That's just come to join in our camaraderie"

"A flea A flea oh my god OMG!"
I'm out of here yes its my turn to flee!"
And with that Kenny turned and ran down the street
No longer the fiercest animal to beat

Soon after Arnold ran into a gecko named Carmello
Who strode down the road with a really great bellow
Now where is that cat oh now where can he be?
'Cause I need to find him as well as his flea
Because as you know fleas taste so good to me
And with no other animal now with the crown
Carmello is the fiercest beast in this town!

But just as Carmello was having his licks
In slinked a shiny black mammal - a lynx
"Ah ha I've got you Carmello you fool
For my name is slink and over these parts I rule"

This procession continued throughout the whole night
As animals everywhere gathered to fight
For the title of fierce to be settled once and for all
Around and around in a jumbling thrall

Arnold sat on the ground and he watched it play out
Animals flying inwards and then flying out
And as evening came to a close and the sun crept back up
Well just about every animal had had enough

Cries of "You cheated! You cheated! I should have won!"
"I am the most dreaded of everyone"
"Enough!" Cried back Arnold "this cannot go on"
"We cannot keep fighting like this - guys come on"

Can't we just stop and then call it a draw?
It seems to me you're all the fiercest animal of all
And that way the title of fiercest you can all keep
But as for me... Me I just want to sleep
Good night all, I hope to see you all next week