Bombs are better than Babies! (facetious)

 Bombs are better than babies and I will tell you why
With one you take out all your foes the other only cries
With bombs you are the greatest, no one can tell you no
With babies if you go say "come" it'll cry 'til you say "go"

The best thing you could ever be would be to be a sniper
You aim and kill and aim and kill and need not change a diaper
You'll be come quite famous as they count up all your kills
But if you have a baby you must clean up all the spills. 

And if you think about it, you're better with a gun
It's nice to shoot and shoot and shoot it's really really fun!
But if you have a baby the good times will be done
You'll spend all day and fail fail fail at teaching one plus one

In a world that's just so crazy a world that's upside down
A snuggling baby has no chance the bomb's the best in town!

Measure a Year (in Laun-dray)

 In the deep of winter when everything is white
Laundry still needs doing: colors and the white
It is pretty cold out there and there isn't so much light
But laundry doesn't do itself so better do it right!

In spring time day grow longer and the sun it stays alight
While you're busy separating normal from the bright
The perm press and delicates in April and in May
The flowers are a-blooming as you're doing your laundre

The schools are shut in summer and the sun is full a-shine
While t-shirts shorts and bathing suits are drying on the line
Laundre doesn't take a break except perhaps for weather
But luckily it stays the same as days go on forever

Days begin to shorten, as summer turns to fall
And weather starts to chill and so you need clean overalls
The leaves around are falling as if they want to say
It's been a solid year this year - a year in the laundre

Where there's no soap, there's no hope!

Be A Good (Dorky) Man

Boys please stop this wickedness
I need you to be chivalrous
Just show us some winsomeness
We promise positive reinforcing stimulus

Enough with your capriciousness
Could you hold the door for us?
It's not about ambitiousness
It's all about some mindfulness

I do need words like "thee" or "thus"
But don't be so cantankerous
It's not about omnipotence
It's love that's unambiguous

A wok in the park

A wok had a really good wok in the park
Where people would wave and he'd give off a spark
You never would think it cause woks have no legs
But he got through will spinning up butter and eggs
... And all of the while listening to his MPEGs

A spork had a really good stroll to the moon
Then left and agreed that he'd come back quite soon
He came back months later along with a knife
A charmed piece of cutlery he'd made his wife
... And happy they lived through the rest of his life

A gong had a wonderful swim in the bay
When someone'd decided to throw it away
It swam on its front and it swam on its back
So pleased was the gong that it let out a quack
... And really, just what is the matter with that?

A Requiem for Capitalism

 My dear old friend dear Capitalism I think that you way know
That while you've been a major force it's now time that you go
The times we've had were wonderous I am fond of everyone
But you're not working anymore - you know it - you are done!

You've brought so many things to use some whirl, and some go bing
And now we don't need to be a king to have almost everything
I really really thank you, I really really do
But capitalism, dear capitalism the time for you is through!

It's time for something different it's time for something new
It's time to pursue happiness but credit where its due
We never would have got here without capitalism's hullabaloo
So, here's to you dear capitalism, this song's an ode to you.

Beating My Addiction

 It sounds simple it sounds easy I just need to stop
But every time I've ever tried... well it has been a flop
It really isn't healthy, that's something I can say
I wish I could be better - starting from today

I play too many games you see
spend too much time alone
Absorbed in my addiction
And I can't get off my phone

And everytime I realize
I must tamper down the buzz
I wish for that I could be baptized
It does no good - I'm right back where I was

Must I admit that I am beat
That somethings I can't do?
I will not accept defeat
I'll try again anew!

Getting To Yes

 From when they wake in morning
Straight through until the night
It's "Daddy can we have it, yes?"
No matter how I fight

Daddy can I tell you?
You simply can't dismiss
You aren't allowed to say no 
To kids as cute as this

But daddy I need to tell you
Come close, pull up a chair
We really really need it!
And you're nowhere close to fair

So if you want some happy kids
We'll tell you how to be
Take your smart phone from your pocket
And then hand it straight to me

We may be kids but we have rights
One day I'm sure you'll see
It's not okay you must obey
Give us technology

You'll give? oh dearest daddy
You simply are the best
Today I guess is Saturday
You'll have it back by Tuesday... or Wednesday at the best!