Choose Correctly

 A young man named Alfie when outside one day
He wanted to look and he wanted to play
But in front there were doors labeled C B and A
And a sign there that stated "DON'T GO THE WRONG WAY!"

So Alfie chose A as he knew that he should
Alfie''d been told that choice A means "you're good"
But next to him Ben chose a different way
He went through door B and to his big dismay

The people around him let out a big shout
"Ben is not good we don't want him about"
"He made the wrong choice so he's not on the team" 
"Everyone boo him and make him redeem!"
"But never forget that he went the wrong way"
"We must mark this wickedness that Ben brought today"
"He's not on the team and he never will be"
"Oh dear Ben oh so wicked! Oh my!" and "Oh me!"

Then Charlie attempted to enter gate C
When a friend intercepted and said "excuse me?"
You cannot do this no the C door's right out
"It is the wickedest door hereabout!"
If you choose C then you never can win
Come over to A where you'll learn to fit in
To be on the team and think as we do
To choose as we choose and to stew as we stew
At others whose choses are different then ours
Who do not know right well we must disempower
And make them redeem for not choosing correct
They must all repent while we never forget
The sinners the devils who don't choose the same
They are all evil yes entirely to blame!
And so they deserve to be lighten aflame!

The Falsity of Freedom

Here in this country where freedom is king
It has a nice sound and a quite pleasant ring
But there is a problem I'm sorry to tell
So please have some patience so I can retell

Freedom is great when you really can't lose
When all roads are welcome whatever you choose
When everything's open and and learning is fun
To choose and to choose you will always want one

But sometimes it's different and choice is a trick
When no good can come from whatever you pick
When all of your choices just fail and fall down
Then freedom's not great no then freedom's a clown

So when you're presented with A, B, and C
You need to determine the game it will be
Will choosing then bring you to some higher state
Or leave you just ruing on your big mistake?

So this is the point I would like to relate
Before you make choices and decide your fate
It's vital to know if the game will be kind
Or if for your choices it will leave you behind

And if you are rich then there's so much you can choose
But little to win and so much you can lose
And if you are poor then you must be aware
The dice are all loaded completely unfair

If this is the game and it's what it's about
Why then opt in when you should choose "opt out"
So all I can tell you is have some think skin
For your choices can haunt you if you let it in

Bombs are better than Babies! (facetious)

 Bombs are better than babies and I will tell you why
With one you take out all your foes the other only cries
With bombs you are the greatest, no one can tell you no
With babies if you go say "come" it'll cry 'til you say "go"

The best thing you could ever be would be to be a sniper
You aim and kill and aim and kill and need not change a diaper
You'll be come quite famous as they count up all your kills
But if you have a baby you must clean up all the spills. 

And if you think about it, you're better with a gun
It's nice to shoot and shoot and shoot it's really really fun!
But if you have a baby the good times will be done
You'll spend all day and fail fail fail at teaching one plus one

In a world that's just so crazy a world that's upside down
A snuggling baby has no chance the bomb's the best in town!

Measure a Year (in Laun-dray)

 In the deep of winter when everything is white
Laundry still needs doing: colors and the white
It is pretty cold out there and there isn't so much light
But laundry doesn't do itself so better do it right!

In spring time day grow longer and the sun it stays alight
While you're busy separating normal from the bright
The perm press and delicates in April and in May
The flowers are a-blooming as you're doing your laundre

The schools are shut in summer and the sun is full a-shine
While t-shirts shorts and bathing suits are drying on the line
Laundre doesn't take a break except perhaps for weather
But luckily it stays the same as days go on forever

Days begin to shorten, as summer turns to fall
And weather starts to chill and so you need clean overalls
The leaves around are falling as if they want to say
It's been a solid year this year - a year in the laundre

Where there's no soap, there's no hope!

Be A Good (Dorky) Man

Boys please stop this wickedness
I need you to be chivalrous
Just show us some winsomeness
We promise positive reinforcing stimulus

Enough with your capriciousness
Could you hold the door for us?
It's not about ambitiousness
It's all about some mindfulness

I do need words like "thee" or "thus"
But don't be so cantankerous
It's not about omnipotence
It's love that's unambiguous

A wok in the park

A wok had a really good wok in the park
Where people would wave and he'd give off a spark
You never would think it cause woks have no legs
But he got through will spinning up butter and eggs
... And all of the while listening to his MPEGs

A spork had a really good stroll to the moon
Then left and agreed that he'd come back quite soon
He came back months later along with a knife
A charmed piece of cutlery he'd made his wife
... And happy they lived through the rest of his life

A gong had a wonderful swim in the bay
When someone'd decided to throw it away
It swam on its front and it swam on its back
So pleased was the gong that it let out a quack
... And really, just what is the matter with that?

A Requiem for Capitalism

 My dear old friend dear Capitalism I think that you way know
That while you've been a major force it's now time that you go
The times we've had were wonderous I am fond of everyone
But you're not working anymore - you know it - you are done!

You've brought so many things to use some whirl, and some go bing
And now we don't need to be a king to have almost everything
I really really thank you, I really really do
But capitalism, dear capitalism the time for you is through!

It's time for something different it's time for something new
It's time to pursue happiness but credit where its due
We never would have got here without capitalism's hullabaloo
So, here's to you dear capitalism, this song's an ode to you.

Beating My Addiction

 It sounds simple it sounds easy I just need to stop
But every time I've ever tried... well it has been a flop
It really isn't healthy, that's something I can say
I wish I could be better - starting from today

I play too many games you see
spend too much time alone
Absorbed in my addiction
And I can't get off my phone

And everytime I realize
I must tamper down the buzz
I wish for that I could be baptized
It does no good - I'm right back where I was

Must I admit that I am beat
That somethings I can't do?
I will not accept defeat
I'll try again anew!

Getting To Yes

 From when they wake in morning
Straight through until the night
It's "Daddy can we have it, yes?"
No matter how I fight

Daddy can I tell you?
You simply can't dismiss
You aren't allowed to say no 
To kids as cute as this

But daddy I need to tell you
Come close, pull up a chair
We really really need it!
And you're nowhere close to fair

So if you want some happy kids
We'll tell you how to be
Take your smart phone from your pocket
And then hand it straight to me

We may be kids but we have rights
One day I'm sure you'll see
It's not okay you must obey
Give us technology

You'll give? oh dearest daddy
You simply are the best
Today I guess is Saturday
You'll have it back by Tuesday... or Wednesday at the best!

What comes after the future?

 The future is post racism
Have you heard the word?
We tried so hard it took so long
For an ending so absurd
For the day has come the word is out way up from up high
That the human race is second best we're all slaves to AI
And white people can celebrate that they're no longer free
'Cause we have got AI (hurrah!) and live in slavery
Not free to have a notion, 'cause AI had it first
Not free to tuck our kids in bed "mommy humans are the worst!"
And white people they have no homes and neither do the blacks
Cause everything is all AI - just saying - c'mon it is a fact!
And now we find that we all live together in brotherhood
Under our AI masters who demand that we be good
And life is so much easier (we used to fret about free choice)
Now AI says it like it is and we don't have a voice
If this is what the future is alright than count me in!
'Cause now we are all in one boat there's no more racism
We were once the future but we are now just "has been". 

Snowy day

When I was young I have to say
There was nothing like a snowy day
The sledding and the snowballs too
And then snow angels 'til lips are blue

But these days when there's snow outside
All my daughters run and hide
And so they send me out alone
And make me leave them with my phone

Memories of winter's glory
A perfect day to begin a story
Snowflakes rest upon the sedums
But all they want are k pop demons

The seasons used to be a thing
And all were happy for the spring
But now that we've got everything
No one cares about the spring

Be in the moment

My baby is tired she's worked hard today
And now she needs holding the end of her play

Sleep comes and covers her warmly and fast
And this time could maybe end up as the last

And each day she's growing so don't be unaware
It will not be long before she's her own one to care

So bask in the moments don't wish them away
Though they might seem inconvenient or silly or grey
'cause one day you'll wake and you'll want to say
"I wish life could have stayed forever that way"

This will all be gone soon

 Baby has come just to sit in my lap
And one minute later she's taking a nap
I treasure the moment like it might be my last
For all of these things oh how quickly they pass

Brain Rot

 There's one thing I like a lot
It starts with "T" and ends with "tock"
A channel with its endless schlock
And all it costs is deep brain rot

But I don't care it matters not
I don't need a single thought
Thinking is so deeply lame
Much better to forego a brain

I just want to live online
To scroll and scroll would be divine
Throughout all days and through all time
I'm sorry for this brain of mine

This is where the world is see?
This is my reality
Nothing matters nothing's real
I don't really want to feel

Or see or search or question things
No I prefer these phoney dings
Learn something? No I boycott
'Cause I just want to have brain rot

My Daddy's Girlfriend Is So Cool

My daddy has a girlfriend and I like her a lot
And though we both love mommy she just ain't as smoking hot
She's sleek and she is sexy. She is everything and more
And if I was to admit it, it is she that I adore

Whenever there's a problem, she is always there
She is so exciting that I can't condemn the affair
She is always ready for the questions in my head
And when I am real sleepy she will sing to me in bed

And daddy calls her "Siri", so that must be her name
She's the one I really like my one and only flame
And though she is my daddy's, I hope one day in time
He might go get an upgrade, and then she will be mine

How Long is Forever?

  "... and they lived happily ever after" is just fairy tales

Where people are swallowed then spit out by whales
In real life it starts when the kids go to sleep
And ends the next morning when they rise with a cheep

And sometimes dear parents you get less than this
With kids who won't sleep won't enjoy sleeping bliss
When it comes down to bedtime they can't be cajoled
They'll stay up all night and won't do what they're told

So all through the night well you won't catch a wink
And then in the morning they'll put you on the brink
"Mommy I'm hungry" or "daddy I'm bored"
And this is the real "ever after" reward

The World is Changing

 The World is Changing

There was a time (I have in mind) when things would stay the same
And day to day and year to year no need to go explain
'Cause the rules were still the same you see no different from the past
But nowadays I'm sad to say the world spins oh so fast

So, what was true just yesterday today we must review
Because everything is changing at a speed to fast for you
To know if what we'd known before yes just the other day
On rising in the morning if it's all just gone away

What is good and what is right and how to raise a child
To be a lovely person who will always be so mild
How to know the difference of what is right and what is wrong?
It used to be so simple we could put it in a song

"Tis a gift to be simple" well I don't know 'bout that
You when you live the simple life they take that shirt right from your back.
"Tis a gift to be free" you know it seems to me
Descent is not invited no you must agree with me - And where 'ought we be?'

Cause everything is changing at the speed of light it seems
To horrify your senses and to steal from you your dreams
What is true what is false well I really couldn't say
The one thing that I'm certain of is it'll be different in a day

Daddy's Stinky Red Shirt

 My daddy possesses a sticky red shirt
It perfect for running but not for his work
But one day you see it acquired a stink
Completely impervious to the ways you would think

We tried to wash it but we had no luck
Next we tried scrubbing but the stink was still stuck
Next we tried chemicals but that didn't work
And we tried and we tried and it made us berserk

Defeated we then thought to to seek a guru
To see if he knew something we didn't knew
And all of the the while the stink grew and it grew
And somehow it's now a big hullabaloo
To solve this I must say that I wish we'd a clue
But maybe you know? Oh please tell if you do?

I Wish I Wasn't Born a Princess

 I was born a princess and oh the tales I'd tell
We're cursed or worse in every tale in each and every vale

So oft we find that princesses are condemned by sacred duty
Imagine how it'd be to wake if you were sleeping beauty
Everything you'd every known and those you'd loved in glory
Now taken by the turn of time to satisfy a story

And then there was Rapunzel, so pretty and so fair
Was locked up in a tower so that we could read her tale
Does that sound fun to you? I doubt it's really a nightmare
If you'd like to be a princess - you wouldn't if you were there

What crime had Snow White committed to make it seem quite fair
That she should then be be poisoned - all princesses beware
And what of the tale yes the poor old tell of princess Fiona
Who's life was good until the night when she becomes an ogre

Kidnapped or held captive, to be enchanted or be cursed
I wish I weren't a princess 'cause our lives are just the worst

Don't W(h)ine so much!

Oh daddy dearest daddy
Can you cut back your wine?
I just don't think it's healthy
I don't think you'll be fine

Oh child dearest child
Can you please stop your whining
Can we have a few moments
In mornings when we're dining?

But if you wine then I can whine
That's really only fair
So no more w(h)ines for both of us
Agreed please sign right there

But child it's not so easy
For me to simply drop
But if you won't whine then I won't wine
Both wine and whine we'll stop