Women

Women are the best
With women I've been blessed
From Adam's chest delightfulness
Lovely to caress

Women are the worst
With women I've been cursed
No escape for heaven's sake
My tears about to burst

Fights With My Stomach

Dear Stomach I love you and appreciate
You are my best friend when I've ate what I ate
But why then so angry? Must you remonstrate?
You moan and you groan - can you give me a break?

Rumbling and tumbling you're up to no good
Why so upset? Please behave like you should!
Please please I beg you I haven't understood
Why you don't like me when I've eaten food

Faux Inspiration

Gee I love your cause
You deserve applause
You're my hero yes you are
You're a super-duper star

I love all the things you do
My heart soars when I talk to you
I think that throughout the world
Every where you should be heard

You say I should help with the matter?
Oh really! Well I'm certainly flattered
I didn't know that's how you felt
I certainly would love to help

But Mondays I know won't be good
Tuesday's I'd help if I could
But Tuesday and Wednesday are right out you see
As are Thursdays, Fridays and Satur-dees

But maybe on Sunday maybe let's just see
Oh no I forgot! It's impossible see?
I would love to help with your mission sublime
I would be thrilled to help... I just haven't the time

Dorky Poetry is Hard!

I love my baby, my baby loves me
-Oops I guess I stole that, guess it isn't Dee Pee
Love is like a piece of cake soaked in sour rye
-Who the heck would eat that? And who would even try?

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
OMG my poetry's a zero!
'cause you know its true
... everything I do
... erm, actually "some of the things I do"
Don't actually work out as they ought to
Boo hoo! Boo hoo! Boo...

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