Popcorn goes where?

 Kids KIDS! There’s no need for despair 

The day is not lost even though there’s a storm 

So pick yourselves up and decide what you’ll wear

You know what we’ll do? We will make some popcorn 

Popcorn aplenty so all can have some 

Popcorn yes popcorn oh boy and gee whiz

Popcorn is perfect when the weather is glum

And everyone knows that when all’s said and done 

The right place to eat it is…

… on the floor 

… by the door 

… On the Sofa 

… In the shower with a luffah

Timmy The Turtle Flew South

 Timmy the Turtle was swimming around one day, when he thought to himself:

"It's gotten quite chilly in here! I think it's time I migrate south"

So Timmy packed up all his belongings and... wait, turtles don't migrate!

Timmy: I do

And how do you migrate, Timmy?

Timmy: I fly

Fly? How can you fly? You have no wings!

Timmy: I fly just like you do. By airplane!

and how do you book a ticket on an airplane?

Timmy: I call and make a reservation using my shell phone. I called American Airlines and told them I want the soonest flight out to south beach, Miami.

So Timmy made a reservation to head to Miami, Floria. On the day of his flight, he traveled to the airport... Wait a minute, how does a turtle "travel" alone to an airport?

Timmy: I went by shell-o-copter

Ah, I see. And you were just traveling by yourself, right? No family or friends?

Timmy: It might sound like I was being selfish. But turtles cannot be selfish, for the same reason they cannot be shellfish (though I did dress up as a lobster one halloween) - turtles are not fish!

So Timmy flew south for the winter, took the elevator - sorry, shell-e-vator to his apartment, and hung out at Venice beach, and wooed all the female turtles - wait.a second, there are no turtles on Venice beach!

Timmy: Mr. narrator, surely by now you must have realized that nearly anything is possible if you have a shell and you can find another word that can be "shell-ified"

Narrator: I'm beginning to. Timmy, why don't you go on with your own story. I've been shellacked

Timmy: Ha ha ha that was a good one mr. Narrator! And thus Timmy the turtle was recognized as the greatest turtle - nay, the greatest amphibian the world(!) has ever known. The tales of Timmy the Turtle "shell" live on for all time!

Shell we continue?

One "control" to rule them all

 If there was just one thing out there
That I could control
It's not my lunch, or my dinner or
A lovely sausage roll

It's not the car and where we drive
It's not the bees in their bee hive
It's not the TV nor how its wired
It's not the kiddies when they're tired

Not my age as I grow older
Not the thermostat as I grow colder
Not the clouds and not the seas
Not the dog infused with fleas

Not the news and not the cat
Not the jumping acrobat
Not the frogs and not the toads
Nor thermonuclear launch codes

There's just one thing I'd wish to control
It's not a rat and not a mole
If just one thing God would grant me
The thing I'd like to control - is me!

How to be a turtle

It's nice to lay my little body on a little rock
And bathe myself under the sun it suits me quite a lot
And later in the day I think I'll have a lazy swim
And see if I can find some tasty paramecium

It's cool to be a turtle. It's cool to lay quite still
Or swim about quite lazily it gives me quite a thrill
I like to be a turtle, I really really do
And you could also like it if you do what turtles do

Here comes Fred, my little friend, a very friend fish
I pop my head outside my shell and give him a fine swish
And Fred looks up and blows a bubble just to tell me hi
A very good and lazy life it suits me F Y I 

My Friend Sandy

My friend Sandie is like candy
Too much and sometimes I get sick
My gal Sandie just like brandy
Just the thing when all's toxic

My pal Sandie is so handy
When everything's so low
Sandie Sandie rubber bandie
I just want you to know
I love you and that's fo sho
I feel just like ya bro
I look outside there's snow...

...So much love to you Sandy!