I'll skip that

 There's lots of fun thrills that I like to pursue
Like run really fast or to throw a horse shoe
To plunge down in a river in a sturdy canoe
But there are some thrills that I just wouldn't do

I don't need to run with the bulls in Seville
I don't need a lion to go out and kill
I don't need a wing suit to fly through the air
Some people enjoy them but I couldn't care

And though you may love it, it may be your wish
I can quite happily skip Fugu (poisonous fish)
I don't need to jump on a horse to be clear
It's all about prudence it's not out of fear

I don't need to swallow a sword I do not
Or walk on hot coals where my feet would get hot
I'll leave it to you to go jump off a cliff
Don't want a pill or get high on a spliff

I don't need a spaceship to take me to Mars
I'm not into racing around in race cars
I'm not into fighting a fight in a bar
Or under the ocean so deep and so far

Heidi the Hippopotamus Phlebotomist

 There once was a creature of stunning renown
Known all through city and all through the town
So you'd guess that she's lucky so why does she cry?
If you've got a minute, then I'll tell you why

Heidi was cross cause for all she could do
For all of her talent and awards she accrues
And for all of the many who really are rude
As they watch as the hippo puts blood in a tube

... And I have to tell you, you really should know
That for a hippo to phlebotomize is just such a show
And she did it so well that you wouldn't believe
But nobody cared they persisted to tease

"It's funny I think that you picked this career
Yes I have to say it is really quite queer
That you're not a lawyer or a keeper of time
That you chose a career which your species does rhyme"

It's like asparagus by Abacus or things of that ilk
Like cats making bats or draw milk out of silk
Like an owl selling towels or a nerd who has gird
Like a bird full committed to spreading the word

And Heidi could only say "okay stop it's too rough"
Do you even know that enough is enough?
It rhymes yes I'm sorry but what can I say
It is what I do through the night and the day

What a beautiful day

 The sun is shining nice and steady 

After days and days of rain

To be outside I’m more than ready 

And on this day I can’t complain 

Four daughters and two boys as well

To fill the yard with song and shout 

And squirrels cheep and life is swell

There’s we need fret about 

And in the sky and over us

Just love between us all

How blessed are we who cherish this 

From summer through the fall

A Talent For Chaos

 There once was a lad with initials DT
Who had a great talent you'll come to agree
You must understand the great pathos
That formed this dear lad who's the agent of chaos

Whatever he looked at whatever he saw
He found opportunity open and raw
He knew where to look to find its greatest flaw
In the case of America? Well it was the law

Of the law you will see he was full of distain
He hated so much that it seeped from his brain
So he went to the swamp and said "This I must drain"
And the people said "no" but he wouldn't refrain

And although we all knew it we couldn't resist
Was it the color of his hair or the size of his fist?
And he was quite open on all of his trysts
But it only made people join into his midst

He was purely chaos and exuded the aura
Didn't care for the Bible or even the Torah
Didn't care for the fauna or all of the flora
He looked like he'd come straight from Gomorrah

But you must understand that this simply was he
He wasn't a mouse or a bird or a bee
He wasn't a guy who would climb up a tree
He loved making chaos and did it with glee

Silly fruit puns

 

=?

=?

Bad Fish Puns

1. According to Kermit the Frog, what kind of fish is only an illusion?
2. What kind of fish can you find in heaven?
3. What fish likes right triangles?
4. What fish keeps the neighbors up at night?
5. What fish chases mice?
6. What fish likes to run with peas?
7. What fish belongs in a non motor boat?
8. What fish works in the circus?
9. What fish can make you rich?
10. What kind of fish colonizes the world?
11. What kind of fish blows down houses?
12. What fish works at a college?
13. What fish is always in a bad mood?
14. What fish is in a band?
15. What kind of fish is very lucky?
16. What fish is best to sleep with?
17. What kind of fish can get Neo out of the Matrix?
18. What kind of fish would you rather eat than go to school with?
19. What kind of fish need the kiss of a princess?
20. What kind of fish are part of a common geometric construction?

Answers:

1. A rainbow fish (The Rainbow Connection)
2. Angel fish
3. Angler fish
4. A dog fish
5. A cat fish
6. A pi-ra-nha
7. A paddle fish
8. A clown fish
9. Gold fish
10. White fish
11. A huffer-puffer fish
12. A sar-dean
13. A snapper
14. A trumpet fish
15. Fluke
16. A cuddle (cuttle) fish
17. Red pill fish
18. Jerk fish
19. Toad fish
20. Tetra-hedron.

The quiet of the morning

In a quaint apartment, bit small but suits us fine
It nice to have a morning that is absolutely mine
Before the cars start honking, and while the kids still sleep
To watch the sunshine grow outside these moments rich and deep

To be alone with just ones thought before the day begins
To think of all our loses and to also count the wins
When everywhere around me seems to suddenly be still
Before the city wakes it fills my soul up with its chill