Follow The Rules (Or Else)

 Rules are real important they really must be just
And we must all agree (you see) that we must build up trust
So on our email mailing list there's rules you must abide
'Cause if you don't I'm telling you then we will send a chide

We'll chide you for your insolence or for your lack of depth
We'll chide you for your manners, and for your foul breath
We'll chide you for not thinking 'bout the others on this list
We'll chide and chide and chide and chide... you get the gist

You're advised you should be wary of what you think you'd post
'Cause some of us may love it but if it offends your toast
So maybe you'd be best of to just discuss the weather
For after all (if you appall) we'll wrap you up in pleather

Course

 I would like to take a course
That I can do while on a horse
I would ride off here and there
While learning 'bout my savoir faire

I would like a five course meal
especially if there is a deal
I'd really like if it was norse
even if it is kind of coarse

I've a project I endorse
To fund it I think I'll crowdsource
To rhyme all day upon a horse
While I love it? Yes, of course!

I'll skip that

 There's lots of fun thrills that I like to pursue
Like run really fast or to throw a horse shoe
To plunge down in a river in a sturdy canoe
But there are some thrills that I just wouldn't do

I don't need to run with the bulls in Seville
I don't need a lion to go out and kill
I don't need a wing suit to fly through the air
Some people enjoy them but I couldn't care

And though you may love it, it may be your wish
I can quite happily skip Fugu (poisonous fish)
I don't need to jump on a horse to be clear
It's all about prudence it's not out of fear

I don't need to swallow a sword I do not
Or walk on hot coals where my feet would get hot
I'll leave it to you to go jump off a cliff
Don't want a pill or get high on a spliff

I don't need a spaceship to take me to Mars
I'm not into racing around in race cars
I'm not into fighting a fight in a bar
Or under the ocean so deep and so far

Heidi the Hippopotamus Phlebotomist

 There once was a creature of stunning renown
Known all through city and all through the town
So you'd guess that she's lucky so why does she cry?
If you've got a minute, then I'll tell you why

Heidi was cross cause for all she could do
For all of her talent and awards she accrues
And for all of the many who really are rude
As they watch as the hippo puts blood in a tube

... And I have to tell you, you really should know
That for a hippo to phlebotomize is just such a show
And she did it so well that you wouldn't believe
But nobody cared they persisted to tease

"It's funny I think that you picked this career
Yes I have to say it is really quite queer
That you're not a lawyer or a keeper of time
That you chose a career which your species does rhyme"

It's like asparagus by Abacus or things of that ilk
Like cats making bats or draw milk out of silk
Like an owl selling towels or a nerd who has gird
Like a bird full committed to spreading the word

And Heidi could only say "okay stop it's too rough"
Do you even know that enough is enough?
It rhymes yes I'm sorry but what can I say
It is what I do through the night and the day

What a beautiful day

 The sun is shining nice and steady 

After days and days of rain

To be outside I’m more than ready 

And on this day I can’t complain 

Four daughters and two boys as well

To fill the yard with song and shout 

And squirrels cheep and life is swell

There’s we need fret about 

And in the sky and over us

Just love between us all

How blessed are we who cherish this 

From summer through the fall

A Talent For Chaos

 There once was a lad with initials DT
Who had a great talent you'll come to agree
You must understand the great pathos
That formed this dear lad who's the agent of chaos

Whatever he looked at whatever he saw
He found opportunity open and raw
He knew where to look to find its greatest flaw
In the case of America? Well it was the law

Of the law you will see he was full of distain
He hated so much that it seeped from his brain
So he went to the swamp and said "This I must drain"
And the people said "no" but he wouldn't refrain

And although we all knew it we couldn't resist
Was it the color of his hair or the size of his fist?
And he was quite open on all of his trysts
But it only made people join into his midst

He was purely chaos and exuded the aura
Didn't care for the Bible or even the Torah
Didn't care for the fauna or all of the flora
He looked like he'd come straight from Gomorrah

But you must understand that this simply was he
He wasn't a mouse or a bird or a bee
He wasn't a guy who would climb up a tree
He loved making chaos and did it with glee