Daddy's Stinky Red Shirt

 My daddy possesses a sticky red shirt
It perfect for running but not for his work
But one day you see it acquired a stink
Completely impervious to the ways you would think

We tried to wash it but we had no luck
Next we tried scrubbing but the stink was still stuck
Next we tried chemicals but that didn't work
And we tried and we tried and it made us berserk

Defeated we then thought to to seek a guru
To see if he knew something we didn't knew
And all of the the while the stink grew and it grew
And somehow it's now a big hullabaloo
To solve this I must say that I wish we'd a clue
But maybe you know? Oh please tell if you do?

I Wish I Wasn't Born a Princess

 I was born a princess and oh the tales I'd tell
We're cursed or worse in every tale in each and every vale

So oft we find that princesses are condemned by sacred duty
Imagine how it'd be to wake if you were sleeping beauty
Everything you'd every known and those you'd loved in glory
Now taken by the turn of time to satisfy a story

And then there was Rapunzel, so pretty and so fair
Was locked up in a tower so that we could read her tale
Does that sound fun to you? I doubt it's really a nightmare
If you'd like to be a princess - you wouldn't if you were there

What crime had Snow White committed to make it seem quite fair
That she should then be be poisoned - all princesses beware
And what of the tale yes the poor old tell of princess Fiona
Who's life was good until the night when she becomes an ogre

Kidnapped or held captive, to be enchanted or be cursed
I wish I weren't a princess 'cause our lives are just the worst

Don't W(h)ine so much!

Oh daddy dearest daddy
Can you cut back your wine?
I just don't think it's healthy
I don't think you'll be fine

Oh child dearest child
Can you please stop your whining
Can we have a few moments
In mornings when we're dining?

But if you wine then I can whine
That's really only fair
So no more w(h)ines for both of us
Agreed please sign right there

But child it's not so easy
For me to simply drop
But if you won't whine then I won't wine
Both wine and whine we'll stop

Lost Our Way

 Do I even have a gender? Do I even have a race?
Will anybody anybody anyone at all extend a little grace?
That I might not be simple I might be hard to know
As noisy as a kettle, as lonely as the snow

Has it become so wrong these days to care for more than I?
When everyone needs recognition the L the G and the B T Q and I?
When everyday there's something else that you just need to buy?
When life takes all you have each day just so you can get by?

There was a time when boys and girls would play and play outside
There was a time when it was enough to just go run and hide
And then seek out the hidden, exploring every day
Now everything is Trump Putin Musk, and we've so lost our way

MADA

 MADA!

I must run for office I'm seizing my chance
I have my own platform where I'll take a stance
And say to all gentlemen, children and wives
That we all need to bring dorkiness into our lives

As true as a bird that flies up to the north
As real as a principle that must be put forth
Just like the founders with paper and pen
We must "Make America Dorky Again (MADA)!"

Identity politics they've had their go
Some think their great but some others think no
America's ready for change don't you see?
And the change that we need is a change that's dorky

So fellow Americans put down your loads
Don't worry 'bout inflation or immigration or those
Don't worry about Trump 'cause he's just got to go
It's a shining new era when the dorks run the show

Troll Hard (Spoof on the song "Raw Hide")

 (Original Song: https://genius.com/Frankie-laine-rawhide-lyrics)
("Trolling" definition: https://www.esafety.gov.au/young-people/trolling)

Trollin trollin trollin
On X I am just all in
MP3s are stolen. Troll Hard!

Go on keep them stringing
Let them think they're winnin'
All the while you're grinnin' Troll Hard!

LOL TMI
TBF FYI
BFD IRL

Troll Hard!

Follow The Rules (Or Else)

 Rules are real important they really must be just
And we must all agree (you see) that we must build up trust
So on our email mailing list there's rules you must abide
'Cause if you don't I'm telling you then we will send a chide

We'll chide you for your insolence or for your lack of depth
We'll chide you for your manners, and for your foul breath
We'll chide you for not thinking 'bout the others on this list
We'll chide and chide and chide and chide... you get the gist

You're advised you should be wary of what you think you'd post
'Cause some of us may love it but if it offends your toast
So maybe you'd be best of to just discuss the weather
For after all (if you appall) we'll wrap you up in pleather

Course

 I would like to take a course
That I can do while on a horse
I would ride off here and there
While learning 'bout my savoir faire

I would like a five course meal
especially if there is a deal
I'd really like if it was norse
even if it is kind of coarse

I've a project I endorse
To fund it I think I'll crowdsource
To rhyme all day upon a horse
While I love it? Yes, of course!

I'll skip that

 There's lots of fun thrills that I like to pursue
Like run really fast or to throw a horse shoe
To plunge down in a river in a sturdy canoe
But there are some thrills that I just wouldn't do

I don't need to run with the bulls in Seville
I don't need a lion to go out and kill
I don't need a wing suit to fly through the air
Some people enjoy them but I couldn't care

And though you may love it, it may be your wish
I can quite happily skip Fugu (poisonous fish)
I don't need to jump on a horse to be clear
It's all about prudence it's not out of fear

I don't need to swallow a sword I do not
Or walk on hot coals where my feet would get hot
I'll leave it to you to go jump off a cliff
Don't want a pill or get high on a spliff

I don't need a spaceship to take me to Mars
I'm not into racing around in race cars
I'm not into fighting a fight in a bar
Or under the ocean so deep and so far

Heidi the Hippopotamus Phlebotomist

 There once was a creature of stunning renown
Known all through city and all through the town
So you'd guess that she's lucky so why does she cry?
If you've got a minute, then I'll tell you why

Heidi was cross cause for all she could do
For all of her talent and awards she accrues
And for all of the many who really are rude
As they watch as the hippo puts blood in a tube

... And I have to tell you, you really should know
That for a hippo to phlebotomize is just such a show
And she did it so well that you wouldn't believe
But nobody cared they persisted to tease

"It's funny I think that you picked this career
Yes I have to say it is really quite queer
That you're not a lawyer or a keeper of time
That you chose a career which your species does rhyme"

It's like asparagus by Abacus or things of that ilk
Like cats making bats or draw milk out of silk
Like an owl selling towels or a nerd who has gird
Like a bird full committed to spreading the word

And Heidi could only say "okay stop it's too rough"
Do you even know that enough is enough?
It rhymes yes I'm sorry but what can I say
It is what I do through the night and the day

What a beautiful day

 The sun is shining nice and steady 

After days and days of rain

To be outside I’m more than ready 

And on this day I can’t complain 

Four daughters and two boys as well

To fill the yard with song and shout 

And squirrels cheep and life is swell

There’s we need fret about 

And in the sky and over us

Just love between us all

How blessed are we who cherish this 

From summer through the fall

A Talent For Chaos

 There once was a lad with initials DT
Who had a great talent you'll come to agree
You must understand the great pathos
That formed this dear lad who's the agent of chaos

Whatever he looked at whatever he saw
He found opportunity open and raw
He knew where to look to find its greatest flaw
In the case of America? Well it was the law

Of the law you will see he was full of distain
He hated so much that it seeped from his brain
So he went to the swamp and said "This I must drain"
And the people said "no" but he wouldn't refrain

And although we all knew it we couldn't resist
Was it the color of his hair or the size of his fist?
And he was quite open on all of his trysts
But it only made people join into his midst

He was purely chaos and exuded the aura
Didn't care for the Bible or even the Torah
Didn't care for the fauna or all of the flora
He looked like he'd come straight from Gomorrah

But you must understand that this simply was he
He wasn't a mouse or a bird or a bee
He wasn't a guy who would climb up a tree
He loved making chaos and did it with glee