How to feed a pregnant wife?

How to feed a pregnant wife?
This is the question in my life
To bring her chicken or some steak?
Will it please or will she break?
If I come home with broccoli
Will she barf or be happy?
And if I'm serving up some bread
Will it stay, or come up instead?

If I feed her rice and peas
Will she get sick or will it please?
If I hold the peas just give her rice
Will her stomach then play nice?
If I give her diet coke
Will she swoon or will she choke?
If I make a matzah ball
Can she eat one bit at all?

Ideally I would have her fat
Eating this and eating that
However it's so unfortunate
What you want's not what you get
What to do what can I try?
To sate her and not make her cry
I feel so useless, so damn dumb
The one thing's left, is call my mum!

Gila

(Gila pronounced 'G' as in gain, 'I' as in immaculate, and 'LA' as in 'do ray mi fa so la'...

What can I say of the one called "Gi-la"?

She's so exotic - she comes from afar!

Her voice is enchanting; it lights up the room

Her suitors in awe (oh to watch the men swoon!)

Gila's the greatest - yes she is the best

(Some even think she was born a princess!)

She is the grandest, the grandest of all

The queen for a day & the bell of the ball!

When you think of Gila how could you compare

Her majestic manners to anyone out there?

When she comes around - well you know, there's a buzz

If there's a doubt that she's got it - she does!

The Sabbath Bride

Its Friday night its a night that I prize
A night that's so special it captures my eyes
The rest of the week all to Friday it drives
Friday, when I arrive home with two wives!

If there's a day of which I would relate
If there's a night which I'd tell you "it's great!"
A day of the week that I must say's first rate
It's Friday, the day I come home with 2 mates!

All other days towards Friday they slide
The end of the week - I can't wait to arrive
Now on Shabbat the good Lord doth provide
The one and the only, the Sabbath Night Bride!

Romance Argentine (2)

We'll I've got some thought that I've put into rhyme
About the wild wonderful south Argentine
Ladies with Tango that dance in the street
Beautiful lovely they are such a treat

Enticing entrancing just watching them spin
(So much enjoyment but still not a sin!)
Beatufil rhythmic they whirl to the time
Tremendous ballet... their movement - sublime!

If I love to ninety I reckon I'll rate
Better than everything else to that date
Better than diamonds down in a mine
Nothing compares to that Tango sublime

Romance Argentine

Oh how I long for romance Argenteen
Where the lake are so blue and the mountains so green
Where the coast meets the ocean proceeds endlessly
An Argentine romance would surely suite me

Oh how I long for an Argentine girl
Together, to tango we endlessly whirl
To show me the cities and out to the sea
An Argentine woman would surely suit me

Oh how I long for an Argentine home
Where day after day the the grounds I would roam
Tother with romance and woman so fine
I know I would love growing old Argentine.